Ув. [Имя],
Рад видеть вас в [Наименование отдела], добро пожаловать. Среди ваших коллег выбрали именно вас благодаря [Актуальный опыт работы] и [Положительное личностное качество].
Данный отдел специализируется на конкретном виде аномальных объектов, который затрагивает [Сведения о специфике данного отдела].
[Абзацы, дополняющие вышеуказанное, с подробным описанием актуальных обязанностей данного отдела].
С наилучшими пожеланиями,
Джон Доу
Отдел дереализации
Директор
[НАЖМИТЕ ЧТОБЫ ОТРЕДАКТИРОВАТЬ]
Составные единицы деконструкции.
(Расположены в хронологическом порядке.)
The Afternoon (Department of Unreality Orientation) – за авторством Fishish.
I grab a bagel and head out into Site-19.
Your Imaginary Friend – за авторством Fishish и Deadly Bread.
Slowly, I try solving a puzzle with no real pieces.
Something Glowing – за авторством Deadly Bread.
all ancillary functions will be moved to preventing subjective reality loss during this process.
The Castaway From Unreality – за авторством Fishish.
In the time I've been at Site-19, I've done maybe one or two things that could be considered actual work.
It's Not Real, It Never Was, You Pathetic Fools – за авторством Fishish.
Material Requirements: Nothing. (Already in my possession)
SCP-6208 - Её звали Амнезия – за авторством Elunerazim и Fishish.
Персонал Фонда должен быть осведомлён о существовании Отдела Дереализации.
SCP-6938 - Алекс Торли получает дареного коня – за авторством Uncle Nicolini и Fishish.
"Есть возражения?"
Haunt Me, Haunt Me, Haunt Me – за авторством Fishish.
The morning sun hates you, and everything hurts.
Disintegration – за авторством Fishish.
[02.39 AM] — Alex Thorley: I'm scared of blood.
SCP-001-NULL - Fishish’s Proposal – за авторством Fishish.
We'll meet again. Same as it ever was.
Столовая Зоны 19
Заказ #: 000000 Посетитель: 7
Кассир: Н/Д 18:24:30
13.02.2021
1 Простой бейгл 1.75
1 Бутылка воды 0.99
Промежуточный итог: 2.74
12% НДС: 0.32
Итого: 3.06
На последнем издыхании
Отдельные рассказы, связанные Отделом дереализации (единственное число).
Alex Thorley Eats A Burger – за авторством syuzhet.
The smell of cooked meat, the taste of it on your tongue, the soft fat oozing from between the edges of your teeth.
It's a nice thing to be able to eat real food for once.
Alex Thorley Hungers For a Bagel – за авторством JakdragonX.
Oh, speaking of feeling things: I'm still hungry.
alex thorley dreams of sushi. – за авторством LORDXVNV.
You would expect an ocean this big to have actual waves, but it's just ripples. They're just there. They'll never crash onto the shore. There won't ever be a climax.
The Blank Page – за авторством Prismal.
You stare at the empty page, scared.
Alex Thorley's Christmas Special – за авторством FLOORBOARDS.
After [Period of time of employment.] we are [Sad/relived/excited.] to see you go. Your transfer from [Insert former Department here.] to [Insert current Department here.] has been approved. We are thankful you have continued to dutifully serve the Foundation in our mission.
Alex Thorley Goes on a Blind Date – за авторством IronShears.
You are Alex Thorley. You have been waiting for 30 minutes.
Give me Back to the Sky – за авторством Fishish.
You have never felt better, which makes you nauseous.
Alex Thorley Writes A Poem – за авторством IndustryStandard.
//You don't need to know your hands // if you do no work.//
ILLCOVETYOUIFYOUCOVERME – за авторством FLOORBOARDS.
Kindness: But the defense of love remains where it was: Standing on the bastion of the night, overlooking the red dawn where one day the sky will be painted with yellow stars as well.
[Donald John Trump exits from behind the podium. He smiles widely and repeatedly bows. He waves both his hands. He looks back and forth.]
Sundial – за авторством Aftokrator.
What is the inverse of a human being?
Alex Thorley in A Dramatic Irony – за авторством Cyvstvi.
ALEX THORLEY
I’m just going through the motions. That’s all.
Alex Thorley Confuses a Guy – за авторством Kothardarastrix.
"I don’t not do anything."
**BAROQUE** – за авторством Fishish.
How this make u feel white boy
scatterbrained. – за авторством Troutmaskreplica.
god, what am i doing?
[ДОСТУП ЗАПРЕЩЁН]
Отдельные объекты, связанные с Отделом дереализации (множественное число).
SCP-5863 – Myths Made Plain – за авторством SynthPanda_.
The nature of SCP-5863 is currently unknown to the Foundation. The following proposed explanations are currently under investigation.
SCP-983 – The Party is Today – за авторством FLOORBOARDS.
I can't keep pretending these aren't presents from myself.
SCP-6478 – Not Dementia - It's Something Else – за авторством Quicksilvers.
The results and side effects of ingesting SCP-6478-1 are inconclusive.
SCP-6558 – Word Disassociation – за авторством tstaffor.
Special Containment Procedures: Containment.
SCP-7591 – Alex Thorley Kills A Guy – за авторством PlaguePJP.
Lague: Have you ever had violent thoughts?
SCP-7356 – Noncanonical Materials – за авторством FLOORBOARDS.
Those in the presence of SCP-7356 have not reported adverse effects. However, assigned ritualists — even those who had been amnesticized — have reported experiencing dreams depicting an unknown species of bird, possibly a crow or raven, gliding down a hallway.
SCP-7365 – Take/Off/Day – за авторством IndustryStandard.
Congratulations! You have won (earned) a complementary, all-expenses-paid, trip around the world!
SCP-6352 – Mother Died Today – за авторством fabuIa.
You are not a member of the Department of Unreality. This does not concern you.
SCP-7488 – anything for your eyes – за авторством winkwonkboi.
They all died, screaming. SCP-7488 wields a gun. The bullets are painted in kaleidoscopic hues.
SCP-7413 – Rhizomatic Serial Killer – за авторством FLOORBOARDS.
Several calls were made to the police precinct of northern ████████, ██████, USA, in which a low, androgynous voice stated "there is a killer on the loose" before hanging up.
SCP-8993 – embody – за авторством SynthPanda_.
While the SCP-8993 CORE will regain what was lost, it will never regain its shape.
SCP-8591 — Alex Thorley Doesn’t Get Away With It – за авторством PlaguePJP.
Thorley: (On the phone) It’s here again.
SCP-8195 — Alex Thorley Gets Away With It – за авторством Syuzhet.
Thorley: (On the phone) Yeah, no, that's okay.
Thorley: Like… chicken? No, that's fine. Just get that one instead.
Thorley: Yep.
Thorley: No, really, it's it's okay. We'll talk about it later, okay?
Thorley:
Thorley: Love you, bye.
SCP-7646 — Alex Thorley is Implicated in the DuPont Teflon Scandal – за авторством Billith.
The consequences of SCP-7646's existence, as well as the existence of similar events, are to be ameliorated in perpetuity by the ongoing efforts of OPERATION ALEX THORLEY DRINKS 700+ GLASSES OF WATER.
SCP-8797— The Collected Works of Alex Thorley – за авторством Tufto.
SCP-8797 has been discontinued as a result of reader disinterest. We thank you for your interest in [publishing company] and encourage you to check out our works by other authors, such as:
SCP-7825 — Thorley Minus Thorley – за авторством troutmaskreplica.
Special Containment Procedures: Alex Thorley is the sole individual responsible for the research and containment of SCP-7825.
НУЛЛИСОМИЯ
A veces dejo de respirar por un instante..
SCP-CN-2186 - Alex Thorley每次回办公室都看到同事在装死 – за авторством sjx07.
Alex Thorley had died at Alex Thorley's hands a few times, but Alex Thorley was still alive, still writing this document, still able to kill Alex Thorley if they so wished.
SCP-031-VN - Listen To The Whispers Of The Unreals – за авторством Welpermander.
[DATA IRRELEVANT]: Unreality is so basic, so easy to comprehend. You are but a burden to everyone. Nobody here is not disappointed with you.
SCP-ZH-161 - Alex Thorley Works From 9 To 5 – за авторством Kikunai.
Mouse and Keyboard: Frequently being pressed; of which frequency of the mouse's usage is higher than that of the keyboard.
[ПАМЯТЬ НЕ РАСПРЕДЕЛЕНА]
Картины того, чо лежит между строк.
«Они — Алекс Торли» за авторством LOVEMARGINAL
«витрувианские торли и кот в коробке, #FFFFFF, #000000» за авторством LORDXVNV
«Дональду Трампу и 19 другим людям штатом Джорджия предъявлено обвинение в нелегальной попытке сорвать выборы 2020 года» за авторством SynthPanda_
«Алекс Торли нажимает кнопку "escape"» за авторством Kikunai
Что это такое?
Неплохая попытка, товарищ майор.
Отдел дереализации — это подразделение1 Организации, которое имеет дело с определённым набором аномалий. Чтобы в это поверить, нужно постараться это не видеть.
Раздел [НАЖМИТЕ ЧТОБЫ ОТРЕДАКТИРОВАТЬ] охватывает первоначальные статьи, написанные командой «The Wiggles Hate Each Other in Real Life» в рамках конкурса «DEPARTMENTCON 2022»2, а также их продолжение за авторством Fishish.
В то время как Отдел можно трактовать по-разному, всё же добавлять в хаб можно только те статьи, которые внутренне согласуются с уже существующими. При наличии вопросов обращайтесь к Fishish через личные сообщения Викидота или через Discord.
Примечание для руфонда: по поводу внесения статей лучше обращайтесь к указанному пользователю во избежание недопониманий.
Как писать
Статья должна быть хорошей.
Держите одно из правил на халяву: с точки зрения отдела, Алекс Торли — единственный существующий сотрудник.