"make me a sandwich": "What? Make it yourself.",
"make love": "I put on my robe and wizard hat.",
"i read the source code": "<3",
pwd: "You are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike.",
lpr: "PC LOAD LETTER",
"hello joshua": "How about a nice game of Global Thermonuclear War?",
xyzzy: "Nothing happens.",
date: "March 32nd",
hello: "Why hello there!",
su: "God mode activated. Remember, with great power comes great … aw, screw it, go have fun.",
fuck: "I have a headache.",
whoami: "You are Richard Stallman.",
nano: "Seriously? Why don't you just use Notepad.exe? Or MS Paint?",
top: "It's up there —^",
moo: "moo",
ping: "There is another submarine three miles ahead, bearing 225, forty fathoms down.",
find: "What do you want to find? Kitten would be nice.",
hello: "Hello.",
more: "Oh, yes! More! More!",
"your gay": "Keep your hands off it!",
hi: "Hi.",
echo: "Echo … echo … echo …",
bash: "You bash your head against the wall. It's not very effective.",
ssh: "ssh, this is a library.",
uname: "Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator",
finger: "Mmmmmm…",
kill: "Terminator deployed to 1984.",
"use the force luke": "I believe you mean source.",
"use the source luke": "I'm not luke, you're luke!",
serenity: "You can't take the sky from me.",
"enable time travel": "TARDIS error: Time Lord missing.",
ed: "You are not a diety.",
"cure me": "Your request for SCP-500 has been sent.",
"SCP-173": "DON'T BLINK",
"scp-173": "DON'T BLINK",
"173": "DON'T BLINK",
"kill 682": "Good joke.",
"kill able": "I'm not able to kill able",
crysis: "Not enough processing power. Please use SCP-155
wd:Serebryakow 23:04 16.02.2013
